3 Rituals to Heal When Your Loved Ones Let You Down
What do you do when the people you count on most let you down? It’s so complicated, isn’t it?
You talk to them about it. You get an apology, and you know it’s your turn to forgive. But what if you can’t?
You want SO badly to move past the hurt, and go back to the way things used to be. But how can you when the trust is broken? Every time you experience what feels to you like a betrayal, it gets a little harder to trust again.
At the same time, you have all these painful feelings trapped inside your body, and it’s like a very persistent cold. Sure, you’re you can go about your day—it’s only a stuffy nose—but you’re not at your best. You won’t be until you get better.
I’m in that place right now and it’s not pleasant. Something kind of lame happened to me, and instead of stepping closer to me in support, all my friends distanced themselves. It really stung. I don’t know if that was their intention, or if they even realize they were doing it, and honestly, I feel stupid for caring so much when there are other people in worst situations than me. But it’s still an open wound, and it’s going to fester if I don’t do something.
What do you do with all that pain?
You retreat into yourself for as long as you need, and you feel the pain. All of it. Let yourself get lost in it. And then you heal. There’s a Robert Frost poem called A Servant to Servants that says this beautifully.
“By good rights I ought not to have so much
Put on me, but there seems no other way.
Len says one steady pull more ought to do it.
He says the best way out is always through.
And I agree to that, or in so far
As that I can see no way out but through—”
So grab some tissues and a cup of tea (or something stronger). I’m going to share with you the best magical rituals I use to move bravely and boldly through the pain to the healing that’s waiting just a few steps beyond.
Healing Tarot Ritual
What You’ll Need:
Rose petals (or any kind of flower petals)
Tarot or oracle deck
A spray bottle
Lavender essential oil
Vanilla essential oil
Water (it’s ideal if the water has been set out under the waning moon for a night, so it is charged with the releasing energy of this moon phase. If not, water from a running stream will work, or just regular water from your sink is fine as well.)
A journal
A writing utensil
Directions:
Step One: Sit quietly for a moment and visualize white light moving down from the sky and surrounding you. Breathe it in, and allow it to settle on your skin, your clothes, and the space all around you.
Step Two: Pour about a cup of water into your spray bottle. Add two drops of lavender essential oil and two drops of vanilla oil to the water. Give it a few shakes. Spray it four times around you, in the general directions of north, south, east, and west.
Step Three: Sprinkle flower petals in a circle around you. Sit inside the circle and hold your tarot cards in your hands. Take five minutes to allow the cards to pick up the loving, healing energy of the sacred circle you’ve created.
Step Four: Shuffle the cards as you normally do, and perform this tarot spread.
Card #1 What is the nature of the situation?
Card #2 Why do I feel like this?
Card #3 How do I move out of this feeling?
Card #4 What personal quality do I need to embody to heal?
Card #5 General advice from my intuition, spirit guide or higher power
Card # 6 A message this power has been trying to tell me that I’ve been resistant to
Step Five: Sit with your cards and journal about your spread. If the cards don’t make sense at first, sit with them a little longer. If you can’t find the answer in the traditional meaning of the cards, search your intuition to see if any thoughts or new insights come to you as you look at the card. That is your intuition or higher power speaking to you through the cards.
Step Six: Thank your cards, and your ritual is complete.
Going Dark Ritual
What You’ll Need:
A black clothing item
A black eyeliner pencil (optional)
A handful of dirt
A mason jar
Water
A journal
A writing utensil
Directions:
Step One: Put on something black—shirt, socks, bracelet, whatever you’ve got. Black is the color of banishing and releasing. If you have black eyeliner, use it to draw a sigil, symbol or word on your face or hands that represents the emotion you’re willing to feel and release.
Step Two: Fill your mason jar with water and bring it outside. Sit outside as the sun is setting, and hold the dirt in your right (or dominant hand). Traditionally, your left side (or non-dominant side) is for receiving and your right side (or dominant side) is for sending out.
Step Three: Gaze at the sky and allow yourself to descend into your emotional pain. Notice how you feel and give each emotiona a label of some kind. It can be a conventional label like anger, sadness, or abandonment, or it can be something more abstract like a color for your emotions, a word like “cave”, “desolate”, or “wanderer”, or an image that pops into your mind’s eye.
Step Four: Take stock of your physical sensations. Where does the pain sit in your body? Your chest, the back of your throat, the pit of your stomach? Do a scan of your body and notice where you feel any unpleasant physical feelings. See each pain point as a glowing blue ball of light. If you need to set down your dirt to organize your thoughts through journaling, feel free to do that.
Be sure to take as long as you need to find and name the array of painful emotions and physical sensations that are pulsing inside you. As the sun is settling, allow those feelings to begin to move. This might mean you cry, yell, or sing. It doesn’t matter how you move these feelings, just trust that your intuition knows what to do and follow those internal urges.
Do this without any judgment of yourself. You’re probably a kind, conscientious person, and you might feel like you don’t deserve to be so indulgent when other people have bigger problems or whatever else you find your inner critic whispering to you. Allow those thoughts to move through you as you’re moving your other feelings. You don’t need those thoughts right now. They’re not helpful to your healing. This isn’t a time to criticize yourself, this a time to love yourself. Unconditionally.
Step Five: When you feel like you’ve honored each of your feelings, begin to visualize these feelings moving out of your body and into the dirt in your non-dominant hand. The dirt will absorb everything you’re releasing—every last bit. The reason for this is because dirt carries strong earth energy, which is known to have healing, grounding, and nurturing qualities. The dirt can withstand all of your negativity.
Step Six: When you feel like all of your negative emotions have moved out of your body and into the pile of dirt, drop the dirt into your mason jar of water. Put the lid back on the jar, and give that jar a good shake. Shake all up all that pain and hurt until the dirt dissolves into the water completely.
Step Seven: Once the sun has set, pour out the water into the ground, where it will be cleansed by the elements of nature.
Step Eight: Change your clothes and wash your face and hands to complete your ritual.
Step Nine: Thank yourself performing this healing ritual. Thank the elements of earth (dirt), fire (the sunset), water (your emotions) and air (your breath) for being present.
Sensory Elements Ritual
Many times when you’re feeling bad, you get stuck replaying the bad moments over and over in your mind. You’ll be at work or talking to someone, and all of the sudden, you’re thinking about that moment that broke your heart—that’s still breaking your heart.
This ritual is perfect for taking you out of your head into the vivid, sensory pleasures of the world around you.
What You’ll Need:
A piece of paper
Water
A teaspoon of pink Himalayan sea salt
A mug
A fireproof container like a metal bowl or cauldron
Directions:
Step One: Heat up a pot of water until it boils. Pour the water into a mug and dissolve about a teaspoon of pink Himalayan sea salt into the water. Stir it counterclockwise eight times. The number eight represents harmony, balance, inner strength, and spiritual healing. The direction of counterclockwise represents receptive energy.
Step Two: Allow yourself focus completely on the sensations in your physical body. Think about how the course salt felt in your hand before you dropped it into the water. Breathe in the steam rising up from your water and bask in the pleasant sensations of the heat. Let the warmth from the water in the mug comfort you.
Step Three: Begin to write about your feelings on a piece of paper. The paper represents the element of earth because it is made from wood. When you feel like you’ve gotten a lot of your emotions on the paper, close your eyes and notice the earth underneath you. It supports you and grounds you no matter what is going on in your life. Thank the earth for being there for you.
Step Four: Fold up your paper and burn it over your fireproof container. This is the element of fire. Gaze as the flames as they burn your paper. See how the orange and yellow flames flicker and dance. Notice the smoke rising up and away from you, taking your emotions and pain along with it. It will be absorbed by the universe. The smoke represents the element of air.
Step Five: Dip the fingers of your right hand (or dominant hand) into the water. Enjoy the sensation of the warm water against your skin. Flick drops of salt water onto ashes of your paper, further cleansing the energy you’ve put into it with the element of water.
Step Six: Discard the ashes outside and pour the rest of the salt water over it. Your ritual is complete.
I hope these rituals help you heal. If you don’t feel better after performing the ritual once, do it again. Feel free to do these rituals as many times as you need. You can also change these rituals to make them your own based on the supplies and space you have. Remember to always thank yourself and your intuition for taking the time to focus on healing. Just acknowledging the need to heal can be healing in itself.
What rituals do you do when you’re feeling down? Email me at julie@magicalpowerwithin.com and tell me! I’d love to hear from you.